Freezing rain, on my driveway
    Snow alerts, on the TV
No concert tonight,
    Don't put up a fight!
Watchin' as the weather turns to crap!

Slipp'ry roads, they're a-chillin'
    Driving them's really thrillin'.
And ain't it a stitch
    When you hit the ditch!
In February highways turn to crap!

Chorus:
In the winter we should go to Florida.
    Do Orlando, maybe see The Mouse.
But instead we freeze up here 'til Ju-ly...
    If we're that dumb I guess we shouldn't grouse!

'Tho the plows, are a-goin'
    To be safe, we have chosen.
The veterans moan,
    "The Batwipes stayed home
Just because the weather turned to crap!"